Never heard of it.....

A Sarcoma! What is that???
I remember feeling numb, I needed to get out...I couldn't breathe! Why was I on my own? I thought everything was going to be o.k.! I was angry with the consultant, angry with everyone and started to cry. I couldn't look at the professional people that were looking at me. On reflection, I can't remember everything I was told that day...it's very vague.

Anyway...the reality was that I'd got a tumor and the possible name of this tumor was a Sarcoma. Cancer of the soft tissue. They needed me to go in for a CT Guided Biopsy in three days. Why so soon?? What would it all mean??

I ran out of the hospital as fast as I could, I needed fresh air. I remember running past a nurse, who asked me if I was ok and I replied..."I just need to get out!". She directed me to the nearest exit.

OH MY GOD!! I wanted to smash the car windows of every car...I wanted to shout at the passers by, I felt so angry! The tears were streaming and I knew that I had to 'pull myself together' as my children were waiting in the car with my partner. They couldn't see my like this! My partner came to meet me, obviously concerned from the call he'd just recieved from me. I couldn't let him hold me tight...I needed to be free! I had to be strong. I smile about being strong today...why did I have to be strong? Why wasn't it o.k. to cry and allow my children to see my tears? I was hurting so bad but I was still protecting others...who could protect me?