Cancer....

I haven't had any treatment for the last two weeks and as it's half term, I decided to take the children to Reading to visit friends and family. I had an internal radiotherapy implant removed last week so I'm starting to feel a little brighter...for now!

I haven't written about the cancer for a while, so I will talk about what happened after the diagnosis. Some of it is a bit of a blur, so you will have to be patient.

I got diagnosed with Fibrosarcoma, cancer of the soft tissue and it was pretty large in size. Radiotherapy started almost immediately which was hard going and very scary. I was later referred to a Thoracic surgeon who was going to remove the tumor...he was wonderful! in August 2007 I had the tumor removed along with part of four ribs and had reconstruction of my left chest wall. It was very traumatic but something that I had to do. i just got on with it and seemed to cope...until my second lump appeared. I now have another malignant tumor, again on the ribs. I'm having radiotherapy for this and seems to be effective at the present time.
My psychological state is not good as a result. I have panic attacks, feel depressed, uninterested in anything and very self destructive. My mind is a whirlpool of emotions, which I will write more about later.

Anyway, I had quite a good time in Reading, spending most of my time with a special friend who made me and my children feel very welcome. It's amazing how many people actually offer support when you really need it...I'm very disappointed with my supporting network. I feel very alone sometimes and often wonder what it takes for your loved ones to show you love and comfort? I'm just very glad I had my friend.